Things to do. Words to read. Lists to write. Plans to lay out. Schedules to follow. Conversations to initiate. Issues to think about. Emails to respond to. Little bodies and minds to nourish.
Somehow, I managed to pull out this collection of photos from some of my recent Tweets, and place them here to make these ramblings more readable.
A stay-at-home-mother. I am one now, till the end of the year at least.
It is a privilege I relish. To have all the time to be with my children. To enjoy every baby chuckle, and endure every sleepless night.
Make no mistake, I know I really am doing this more for me than for them. Kids are adaptable and more resilient than we give them credit for, truly. I know they don't really need their mummy 24/7, even if Bubbles insists so, and offers to grow vegetables so that we can save money to live on one income :) Should I have chosen to work full-time, leaving them in the care of trustworthy caregivers, I am certain they would also flourish. Many families have done it that way, to beautiful outcomes.
But then I would have to hear about Bubbles' funny sayings second hand. Or watch Bun taking her first assisted steps on video. There would be less time for cuddles, flopping around on beds, and crazy singing at the top of our lungs.
Less time for comparing feet sizes while chuckling, trying out funky hairstyles, taking long, uninterrupted walks - twice a day. To pray with them. To hold their little hands. Less time to spare for all the things children simply need time to do. To spin long stories. To help them (help me) with chores. To learn grown-up things.
Perhaps they wouldn't come to me for comfort, or allow me to put them to bed. Maybe they wouldn't have memories of mummy being around for all those special times that they remember.
More importantly, there will be less opportunity to capture influencing moments. For just-in-time teaching, guiding, explaining. To show the wonderful, and to allay childish fears. To model values that I want them to adopt.
I lament about temper tantrums, the frazzled nerves from non-stop demands, and the constant blurry cloud in my mind from lack of sleep. I do. I do get grouchy, and roll my eyes. I do yearn to have more time for leisure.
But then I chose to do this. I chose to set aside these few critical years where it will be more about them than me. I chose, after sitting down with Roboman to work out our sums, and I need to remember. When remembering, I am glad I chose this. I am so every grateful that I can. Not without sacrifices, but still, an option.
And so, I cherish.
The days, the time, the experiences.
I wipe away tears and dole out hugs and kisses. They must know they are loved. No matter what. Not just by me, but by the family they belong to, and most of all, by their Father God.
Then I create sweet smells from the kitchen that will hopefully create beautiful imprints on their memories.
Linking up with The Playful Parents
