Keeping the Focus

I have come to realise that my Eliminate and Concentrate post has become one of the most popular entries on this blog. This, not just based on page views and sharing of the post's link, but also the number of personal messages I received stemming from that post.

Re-reading the long-winded entry, I am glad those dark days have passed. I am very thankful for all those who reached out to me during those times - you all did make a difference.

The message of "Eliminate and Concentrate" is one that needs reminding, and requires a continuous awareness to keep at it. For me, keeping the focus on the important things has helped me chart the rocky waters of daily busyness. Often, it is not the focusing on the important things that is difficult, but the willingness and ability to let go and eliminate the non-important ones. Sometimes, it is accepting that it is not about setting out to change the world (although there is a time and place for that), but simply making a difference in the lives of those closest to us - those with whom we have the greatest influence over - even if that requires the most mundane of tasks.

Being someone who always wants to be doing the next thing, trying out another project, being involved - it has been tough for me to wrestle with desires that were all making demands on my limited time and energies. Recovering from the surgery, I have been forced once again to slow down and to focus. 

One thing that is of utmost importance to me is my relationship with Roboman. My marriage. It doesn't always seem that way, from the way I spend my time (and money!), or even from my conversations and writing. But these few months, we have made a very conscious choice to regularly connect with each other, to hold hands, to talk till the wee hours if an issue needs to be resolved, to sneak in cuddles and time alone. This, despite the constant lack of sleep, differing schedules, and various other disruptions.

Our "dates" are seldom romantic or grand by any measure, but the companionship and focus on each other has been precious. Recently, I made arrangements for a timeout with Roboman to visit the tailor. He was touched that I not only made time, but even bothered to dress up. Yes I dressed for my man. To go to the tailor, and eat at a run-down eatery, before rushing home to perform my breastfeeding duties. Because that was something I wanted to do for him. Together, we poured through fabric booklets to make a selection for shirts, pants and a suit, and decided on several that will last him through the next 2-3 years. He trusts my taste more than he does his own, and told the shop so :)

If you read my earlier Eliminate and Concentrate post, and you are now reading this too, I hope you are also keeping the focus in the rich tapestry of your life. Thank you for listening in on my journey.


imp said...

Yes! :)

fibrate said...

Nice one Corsage. Losing sight of what's important - the things that matter - is all too easy especially when one's saddled with tasks and responsibilities. I won't be taking hubby to the tailor anytime soon though! :)

Madeline Heng said...

Yes! We really need to put more energy into maintaining our marriages as much as we do starting them (ie the wedding)!

pinkclothmicrophone said...

Lovely. :)

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...


Indeed, it is just too easy given the hectic lives most of us lead. And I didn't take him to the tailor! More like I was invited to go as someone with better taste. HAHA.

Yes, it is too easy to neglect it when kids come along!


Unknown said...

Agree! With the year in news being what it's been, it's all the more a reminder for us to work hard at our marriages. It's easy to take each other for granted. Thanks for inspiring me to dress up for my man (who else for, really, right?)!

Miss Leney said...

what a lovley post! Glad to hear you're doing well and happy again. :)

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

L Lee:
Indeed re the news this year. Sadly it echoed a few marriages of friends as well. Yes, do dress up for your man! :)

Thanks babe! :)