My First-Born

I was having one of those moments.

There were so many thoughts in my head, but each time I tried to write, the words tumbled out in torrential sentences that only I understand. I was thinking about my first-born, the amazing little person she is. My heart was filled with such an immense gratitude for the privilege of being her mother. I write and re-write, but my emotions continued to dip into my words and mix them all up. So I stopped. I sat for some time scrolling through photos of her. Then I attempted to write again.

She's all of three years now, and so grown-up she is.

She wants her hair long, just like mama. Her hair is often tied messily in a loopy bun. Just like mama too.

She adores shoes. Oh yes she does. She loves to try on shoes when we are at the shops, and wonders when she will be allowed high-heels.

But she's also a little monkey, this one. See how she does her 'double-up'. 

This is my little girl who tells me ever to often that I am not allowed to go back to work. Because your children need you to take care of them she says. One person working is enough. Referring to her beloved Daddy of course.

She comes home every day from school with a card she has made for me, or a dried leaf, or any special something, just to tell me that she thought of me, and loves me.

A little word-smith, she rattles off non-stop, and asks a thousand questions. "Why Mummy?" "What happens if, Mummy?" being the two popular queries. The latter sometimes leads us to co-creating gorgeously out of this world stories that leave us both collapsing into chuckles, in each others' arms.

She has grown to be very aware of people and situations around her. She notices when grown-ups are upset, and tells us not to be so, and to be nice to each other. Smile, Mummy, I want you to smile?

She can rattle off not only classmates' names, but also which countries they come from, what shoes they wear, what each brings in their snack-box, and who is potty-trained! She tells me what so-and-so does, and requested for her hair to be tied this way, because a certain Miss C, an older schoolmate, has her hair tied with many braids too. Very fancy she says. And oh, Miss C has a brother in my class. He has curly hair.

With this awareness, there are now a few children she firmly calls friends. These are the ones who were invited to her recent birthday party. She squeals (sometimes shrieks) with excitement when she knows a play date has been planned, or if she sees some of them at the playground. She wants to make things for them, and talks about what they could be doing at any time of the day.

Funnily, she has grown to dislike having her photos taken more than ever. I inwardly groan whenever I am asked to produce a photo for special occasions, because I really don't have any nice ones. So I often hold her smiling face and imprint it firmly in my memory. 

How has she been as a newly minted older sister? I think she's still figuring this one out. It hasn't been easy for her, especially when it comes to reduced time alone with Mummy. She has been learning though, putting her finger to her lips as she creeps into my room when I put Bun to sleep. Always getting clean diapers for me when Bun needs to be changed. Earnestly asking Is mei-mei asleep now Mummy? Yes? Now can you play with me/read to me/eat with me? while cocking her head in the cutest way.

But I pray she will get there. That both my girls will be loving, close and firm friends. The type of sisters who do all sorts of things together, and talk till late into the night, pretending to be asleep when Mummy steps into the room.

This is her, and her baby sis. Both wearing similar denim pinafores because she insisted it must be so.
But of course she had to groan when I insisted on a picture ;)


Jacinta said...

Aww, what a sweet post! She is definitely all grown-up now! Sigh, they grow so fast. Love your pictures, and I'm so glad you're back to blogging! ;)

June said...

It's amazing to be three! And also amazing to be an older sis...I'm sure she'll find that out soon enough. So glad you're back on the blog! The world here has missed you!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful post! I teared up reading this...being a first-time mum, a very new one at that, I often wonder what my daughter will be like when she grows up. Motherhood is immensely difficult but so rewarding at the same time, and I am only beginning to discover the heartbreakingly wonderful journey that you have embarked on. I can't wait!

Unknown said...

Bubbles is so cute la! She has grown so much since your disappearance!

Poppy is the opposite. She asks me to go back to work so that we can have more money :(

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

Jacinta, June:
Thanks babes. Am glad to be back to this happy space :)

I am sure you will have a beautiful journey with your little girl babe.

Haha, love that - my disappearance indeed! Aw, I'm sure it is because Poppy doesn't quite realise what it means about you going to work. She will most definitely miss time with you when/if you do! Esp since you do such fun things tog!

mummybean said...

She's such a grown up little girl. Precocious, she is! I'm sure she'll grow into her role as an older sister. And how sweet is that photo of the three girls holding hands :) Now, where were they off to on this adventure?

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

I was just having a conversation with a friend last week about how we both had wrong ideas about what the word 'precocious' means! Haha. Anyway I wasn't there on that adventure to the 'forest'! The daddies handled that one. She tells me though that they saw plants that 'close up' when you touch them (mimosas) :) I have several pics of them peering into the grass. Super cute.