Making Baby: Prepping for a 2nd child


This is how it goes: You get married and people ask when you're going to have a kid. You have one, and you get questions about when another is coming.

Another question I'm often asked (and I admit I like to ask too as I'm genuinely curious about this as it is something I seriously think about) is how many kids we plan to have. Most people are taken aback when I honestly disclose that I've always wanted 4 kids. Yes, FOUR.

Why FOUR? Well, I think 1-2 are too few. 3 (in my mind) results in one being left out. Therefore, 4 seems the best option. I like the idea of having a big, gregarious family. One that comes together for meals, to share our days, to make messes, to produce happy conversations (and noise).

However, a big BUT to this whole matter is that Roboman only wants 2 kids. 2 is enough, he says. (To which I'll always grin and say: We'll see ;))

I may have to eventually eat my words though. The original plan was to have another child this year, to avoid having a child in the Dragon year (why fight with everyone else?!). I however, was just not ready to go through pregnancy and the works again, just as I was growing to enjoy Bubbles more!

In the past month or so however, both Roboman and I finally felt ready to prepare for a 2nd child. Another addition to our family that we both agree on. We're prayerful about it, and seek God's provision and blessing in this area!

This round, besides preparing ourselves, we need to prepare another little one - our dearest Bubbles. I hope to share over time some of the things we have done (and plan to do) regarding this. This preparation is especially important especially since Bubbles has told me on more than one occasion that she doesn't want a baby but wants a dog!

If you have more than one child, I'm very keen to hear how you prepped your kids for another baby in the family too!

In the meantime, we'll be keeping a look-out (so to speak)!

20 comments:

notabilia said...

No personal advice for you, but I know there are tons of bloggers out there who have written about having a second, third, and fourth child. My favorite 'mommy blogger' is AskMoxie.org. My friends also swear by AlphaMom.com. Good luck and have fun building your family ;).

San said...

4?! U have my absolute respect. LOL!

Prepping the older sibling is important, and we did it by involving him in all aspects of preparing for #2, from choosing the bedsheets to baby's name etc... But more importantly, it is in ensuring #1 is still kept in that important place, and he/she won't feel "superceded" by the sibling.

We "briefed" all the grandparents and uncles/aunties that when they come over, to do simple things like greet #1 FIRST... and stay away from "typical" S'porean questions like asking, "Where's your younger bro/sis?" Haha! Just something that strangely irks me. :P

Sin Yee said...

God Bless!

and just do it :)

l e n e y said...

oooooh how exciting! It is always a little bit harder with #2 as you will mostly trying to be more cautious and take extra precautious with the #1 so as to not let our oldest child feel neglect, jealousy etc. But, having said that, I dont think you and Roboman have any problems making Bubbles feel extra special despite the fact that a potential one will be on the way. I'm sure you guys will do your very best with balancing that. I'm so excited for you!! Good luck! xoxo

eveeleva said...

I've also always wanted Four. But now, I think 2 is enough. Heh. This baby factory is officially closed!

life-muse said...

4?? You're one brave momma! :)

mamawearpapashirt.com said...

Ditto on "Just do it". :) I'm sure as u commit it all to God, he will also do the prepping work in little Bubbles.

I agree with what San wrote about involving Bubbles, and getting the cooperation of all in the family. During my second pregnancy, we prepped Vera by talking about how the baby would love to play with her next time, and look up to her as the older sibling. And I think that also helped to pave the way somewhat.

Be blessed! :)

BeanBean said...

Theoretically, I would like to have 4 too. (D wants 5. Haha.) But the thought of another pregnancy scares me. My last pregnancy was more difficult and painful than the first, and my by assays the aches and pains will start even earlier the 3rd time round. Yikes! I'll think about #3 when the amnesia kicks in.

You'll do fine I'm sure. Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that girls take to younger siblings better than boys. I think it's the maternal instinct kicking in! I typing this on iPsd so it's a bit difficult to go into details here. Just holler when the time comes! Some books might be helpful too. I liked "There's a house inside my Mummy".

olimomok said...

4!!! You go, girl! :)

I would love 3 kids but there are days when I am not so sure I have the patience or energy to keep up with them! So we'll see after #2 comes along ;)

Electra said...

Have you seen this? Some of the comments were insightful:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/20/becoming-a-family-of-four/

Thanks for submitting the Q&A on maternal nutrition btw!

Anya's mom said...

Showing Bubbles pictures of herself when she was tiny is definitely helpful. I did that for Anya though she could not recognise herself in half of those pics at first.

My way of prepping her was more of involving her when we go for my OBGYN visits, involving her during night prayers for baby (we pray for both of them together), watching many baby-related & pregnancy-related documentaries on Discovery Home etc. For the final lap, we have been bringing her to friends and relatives' who just welcomed a newborn in their house. Hope it helps! :)

blendedbaby said...

Well, Rylen didn't have much of a say in the matter :p neither did we but we got her that awful doll that sucks on a bottle, giggles etc and she loved it so much, it was the only thing that seemed to make her understand.

I also got her to touch my belly when the baby kicked, that made her laugh. It was harder ...or maybe easier because Ry was still very young.

But I can frankly say, as long as you give her some attention (which means you'll have less sleep then when you had Bubbles)just 1 on 1 pure attention, it really helps. I also got someone else to give Jordan a bottle most nights so that I was still part of Rylen's bedtime routine.

I think in general, it will work out, don't worry too much about it. :)

blendedbaby said...

oh and these days she like being useful, like bringing me Jordan's powder etc when we change

Susan said...

We're also planning for baby 2 and have been asking Sophie if she would like a mei mei or di di. But she hasn't been too excited about the idea of it.
How about try reading books to bubbles on the arrival of a sibling and how she can have fun with a younger sibling.
All the best for baby 2!

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

Notabilia:
Thanks for the links! :)

San:
I say 4 now of course, but I'll have to do it one at a time! Thanks for sharing the tips! I'm definitely going to come by this page when the time comes :)

Sin Yee:
Waha! Ok!

Leney:
Thanks babe! I realise now just HOW MUCH attention the first child enjoys! Every other kid along the line will never get 100% attention!

Eveeleva:
Ohhh! Think you may change your mind when the twins are a lil older?

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

Life-muse:
no no! I'm actually quite fearful of the pregnancy and the confinement periods in particular. And oh, maybe the first year. haha! After that things seem more blissful!

Mamapapawearshirt:
Indeed everything needs to be committed to the Lord! He will prepare the family for His new gift(s) :)

BeanBean:
Wow FIVE?! He must be the only father I know who wants that many kids! But then he is a rather hands-on dad I must say, despite his busy work schedule. I remember all the funny (and sometimes alarming) things N said when you were pregnant. Somehow I can totally imagine Bubbles saying all of that too =P

Olimomok:
Haha, yes yes, let's just do it one at a time! You have your mother to look up to! She had four right? And she looks so good!

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

Electra:
Thanks for the link! And you're welcome about the Q&A, it was fun to do!

Anya's Mom:
Oh she's recently been quite obsessed about seeing her own baby photos! I guess that's good then. I agree about letting them see a real newborn. I've noticed that she's a lot more interested in/less antagonistic towards babies after her best friend's mom had another baby!

Blendedbaby:
You seemed to have done it so easily! And haha about the doll that sucks a bottle. My bub received one as a birthday present!

Susan:
Hee, I guess they will definitely miss having all the attention. All the best in the planning for Baby no. 2! Hope work lets up for you too so you get a breather!

Jacinta said...

Ahhh, so so excited for you! Will keep y'all in prayers.. :)

Stitch said...

Hi,

Personally, preparing the older kid is important. When I was around 5months pregnant with the bump very obviously, I told my little one that she is going to be a big sister soon and baby in the tummy is going to be her playmate. She somehow was positive about it and kept asking how was the little one in my tummy back then. When the little one was born, we bought a pair of soft toys, telling my older one that the baby has bought a gift for her and in turn, the little one has one too. So as not to create any jealously between the two of them. We actually asked the older one to help in the care of the little one and she enjoys it tremendously.

Right now, No.3 is coming along in 2 months time, I have already informed them about the coming arrival of their little siblings. They know that baby is in the tummy. The oldest one is very happy about it, while the second one can get jealous at times but he knows that a baby is coming out soon.
Whatever it is, it's important to maintain fairness and treatment to all the kids in the household. I do agree with you that 4 is a good number which I wanted but I guess 3 will be where I will stop. It's very very tiring when you are a working mum. :D

All the best!

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

Jacinta:
Thanks dear! :)

Stitch:
Congrats on your 3rd pregnancy! Thanks too for sharing the tricks of the trade so to speak :) May the transition of a 3rd child into your family be a smooth and happy one!