Disappointment...

Because one of my top 5 strengths is apparently Positivity (as Gallup's StrengthsFinder tool shows), I'm generally observed to always see the bright side of things.

However, as this week has shown, I too can get really down and out.

How shall I put this? Well, the short of it is that I thought I was pregnant! But I'm not. And it became very clearly so today.

And so, without going into the gory details (especially for male readers), I now realise that the stress of the last few weeks has really put my natural cycle totally out of whack. This has never happened before. My cycles usually move like clockwork, with no changes unless due to medication (and that happened only once ever).

I ought not to be too disappointed, because truth to be told, we have not really actively been working at having a baby. I honestly didn't quite think it was necessary, since almost all my friends seem to conceive so easily.

But now I see that I might have allowed myself to be too overwhelmed by the stresses of work. I have not given enough time for prayer and reflections on the more important things in life. As I steamroll, brace myself and crash head-on into work, I have come out battered - emotionally, and even physically worse off for it.

Perhaps it is a good reminder for me now to hit on the brakes, and to make time for the things that matter. After all, in all that I have read, preparing for a baby starts even before the pregnancy.

I just need to learn how to do this better.

14 comments:

hemma said...

*hugs*

but yes my dear, you should really try to get yrself a more relaxed pace of life if possible !

ame said...

hmm. u never got that time-out that you were supposed to after we had out chat! i think u prob do like challenges, but need regular time-outs :)

moo said...

Aww. Big hugs...

It's a good reminder though. To put you before most things.

imp said...

don't let work rule your life. it's really not easy to find a balance.

Little Miss Snooze said...

*hugs*
May God bless you with good health and prepare you and your body for babydom.

cote-p said...

yes.. take things easy dearie.. lotsa prayers for you.. *huggies*

nuttyjas said...

take things easy :) this has been a tiring year for me too and nothing is more important then good health.

may god bless you with good health! Chill, babe..

corsage said...

hemma: Thanks for hugs! I don't know! I think I don't mind the buzz but I can't take it when things get too personal or emotional.

ame: No time for time-out yet, you're right. I'm thinking about whether I do like challenges. But you know it is never the work - I can work hard and love it. It is the emotions that we have to deal with. Of others!

moo: Thank you. Yes I always need to pause to remind myself. Maybe I should start listing blessings again like I used to!

imp: It probably doesn't rule my life (maybe just when a major event strikes). You know how it is never the work itself - but the humans in it. The mash of feeling, emotions, sensitivities, that I am so bad at dealing with.

lms: Thank you! Haha, babydom is such a cute word. I can see you're enjoying babydom very much. I'm learning from all you new mummies!

cote-p: Thanks for prayers! Need lots! heh

nuttyjas: Thanks jas! Yes health is so very important. Hope you're much better now. You take care too!

poiemakoinonia said...

cheer up... He makes all things beautiful in His time... Take care!

corsage said...

poiemakoinonia: He does! Thanks dear.

Candice said...

i'm sure big guy up there has it all planned for you. don't stress out and take a break whenever possible.

corsage said...

candice: He sure does :) His faithfulness never fails.

Jamie said...

i understand exactly how u feel because i was in the same situation before! Take it easy, everything is in God's timing!

BeanBean said...

i've been there! it is a disappointment but don't let it get you down. indeed everything in His time.